silence is golden.I've just realised that..& more

Well...no ive not gone mad and thrown my phone into the gutter..I've just been so pre-occupied..not just by emptiness, but stuff ...like how I'm going to deal with my horrible performance in the quarterly and yeah how to deal with some friends ,who've started acting very weird ..how to act with some teachers and how not to with others ..how to deal with your past when its staring at your face, when you've been thinking, all this while, it was safe in your forgotten list ..

ahh well ..im no perfect person ..but i did find some answers

well , marks will ALWAYS come and ALWAYS go ..you just cant do anything about it .i just put in my best ..and got marks marginally better than in mid term ..and you know ? because of a friend ....im actually happy with them :) ....
well about the friend acting weird..well i just can't help it ..Im already going through so much pressure to do well in every single thing i give a shot at ..so well ..id just say tough luck to myself and move on

About the teachers part ? ive still not found answers ..all of them are acting so weird ! i dont know what the want ? whether its my blood or marks ..ive still not figured out ! all i know is its not my problem ..i cant change my ways just because they dont like it ..i mean what the hell , im scoring decent ..its not they who can rule my life

The past part ? well ..um its kind of haunting me still ..really dnt know what to do ..im missing some one from my past like crazy ..im crying ..bawling ..writing something in the name of poetry..just for that person ..but of couurse i know that person cant cme back .i have to face it and its eight years and running since the war against my to-forget list has been on ..im still at war ,neither defeated nor triumphed

ahh well..life is weird ..and im yet to be ready for it..but im still armed ..

me and my armada
waiting in silence
will the strength of my past
resurrect ?
To help me move on ?
to acheive something
real ?

symphony of thoughts

every single day used to be a new day for me. the things that happen everyday used to be the same though..
but now ..everything has changed ..many new incidents,some for the good some for the bad ..some for both ..but one thing has definitely changed-no one is the same anymore .

dark shades of emotions cross me by
everyday
the dementor hovers over
sucking
happiness out of me..
whether there is anything to be happy about
is food for thought

kaleidoscope of thoughts
they twist and turn
make shadows in the void filling my head

Sudden balls of fire
breathing and angry
seldom avoidable
spread over my thoughts
like butter on bread
sheilding me from
seeing sense

the fury angst, temper
filling me
for reasons unknown
camouflage my true intentions
intuitions
goals
in life